Mixed Signals Land, a Poem-In-Dialog

"Should I take her to eat or to dance
or to tennis mixed singles, man?
'Cause it turns out this lady
Is the queen of Mixed Signals Land."

"Did she touch you, or her hair?
Did she ask if you're free?
This whole thing would work better
If you had more than three ideas."

"She stares at me, then looks away,
But doesn't play with her hair.
She told me she thinks that I'm a smart guy,
Out of two left, she picks a near chair."

"Well, I'd say she hasn't quite figured it out,
But that isn't a thing that girls do.
I think it's quite clear that she knew right away
That she's second-choice partial to you."

"I thought so, and asked her to do
Something friendly.  It didn't go so great.
She said it sounded sort of alright,
But the time would conflict with a date."

"Why did you bother asking?
You know fine and well it's too late
Unless she's young and mobile,
and you're desperately willing to wait."