Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Good Qualities

She'd rather talk to a stranger than me?
But I have lots of good qualities!
I may not look good, but I know how to be bad.
I just never went to her with all that I had.

I'm free with my money, a generous dude,
A dynamite poet who can't carry a tune.
I'm about laugh-a-minute and story-a-day.
In class, I always have something to say.
I'm pretty smart even after that shit that I did.
My mind's too unsettled to ever have kids.
I was kind of an athlete, then my knee fell apart.
They'll remember my name if I finish what I start.

Wait, I've got more! No, that's all I've got?
I guess she was right.  That explains a lot.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Fall and Be Shattered

I can almost remember trust,
Faith that people and life are just,
Before hate.  Broken vows
Aren't the only thing shattered now.

I remember faith in myself.  Belief
In future and worth
Broke down in horror,
But now the questions are routine.

So long I hid holes in my minde.
I could fight as long as my body was fine.
Both parts must fall and be shattered.
Flesh, too, fails me when it matters.

I am not what I once was.
I stand before God and men, broken.
I will never be whole again.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Knowing This

Define me, perhaps:
Pedant, poet, people person?
Pimp, philanderer, porn producer?
Longwinded Linguistic Layabout?

What people know about me
Is what I let them know.
What people know about me
Is what I let them think.

Knowing this,
I know nothing.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Something Different

When I was near you, my stomach was swarming.
Being with you caused personal warming.
The next logical step was habit-forming.

Then from smiling lover to laughing fool:
Our warming habit broke and cooled.

I guess I'll have to try to find
Something different next time.
I'll look for a map, or some sort of help.
I do it wrong when I do it myself.

Better Than to Say

The honeyed time I spent with you
Ends as such things always do.

Yet I have begun to discover
That I have begun to recover
Because I knew better
Than to say "forever."

Playin' the Role

Why should acting
Be one of my fears?
I've been acting a part
For the last fifteen years.

What kind of role
Do I play?  You must ask?
This guy that you know
Isn't me.  That's a fact.

That smile, for one thing,
The smile's a mask.
Short of song, nothing's
As dishonest as that.

Then there's the idea
That I'm a smart guy.
I talk lots, and test well,
But the numbers will lie.

And what can I say
About my faith in God?
If I do, and stop saying,
I'm marked as a fraud.

If none of this reached you,
That's too bad.  I quit.
I made this mask because
I prefer wearing it.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Punt

I don't know how to start,
But I know when to quit.
If there's anything I know,
It's a brush-off when I see it.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Tired

We're not going out tonight,
Alright?
You can tell your girls we went for dinner,
Or don't bother.
I can't wait 'til this is over.

I'm tired of pretending you're her.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

That's Not How I Remember It

On route to Bio 201
A young man says "That night was fun,
We got to dance and got to drink,
We ought to go again, I think."

The girl replies, no, fairly spits,
"That's not how I remember it.
You got too drunk.  You hogged the keg.
You danced too close and grabbed my leg.

You were so loud, so very rude.
I'd rather not repeat that, 'dude'."
The boy says "Don't be such a prude.
You have a total buzzkill 'tude."

"You weren't just buzzed.  Behave yourself.
And spare some buzz for someone else."
Her words, they cut.  His pride was harmed,
And he spared her his further charm.

Eleven Words

Four words I've heard before, but not like that.
Five words make me feel like I'm worth something.
Six words crown me a miniature king,
But seven make me feel like I can do anything.

Eight words changed my life, for better or worse.
Nine words tell me finally I belong.
Ten words are just enough to lift a curse.
Eleven words make a strange, flattering song.

Words will never hurt me, but sometimes they help.
How sweet to hear the things I can't say to myself.

All Romances

What we had was good, for once, but now it's gone.
You didn't let me say "I told you so," or even say "so long,"
But it's nice to say I learned something through mutual travail:
That all romantic stories should be cautionary tales.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Ballad of The Writers Three

A poet swore to unmask the world
And a pitiful man was he.
But in his youth, this man of truth
Was one of writers three.

A novelist was one of them,
An earthy-moraled guy.
One found esteem in academe.
The poet, he is I.

Our stories draw a tale of paths
Spread wide about the earth.
Now look upon the space between
And see what you can learn.

That first friend chose to print on pulp,
A pragmatist was he.
He wrote of violence, sex and mirth,
That holy trinity!

The word is work he would not shirk
As long as it would pay.
And at his keys he'd sit and type
All through the live-long day.

So many series he did write,
Of sexy youths and dames.
The stories were old, those tales he told.
He only changed the names.

The names were those of soldiers, cops
And pirates, pilots, ghosts.
In romance, danger,war or crime
All parties might get lost.

His pen he wielded swift and true.
The market was his lord.
His novels sold 'til he grew old:
The value of his words.

That dough he made, it could not pay
A loyal, loving wife.
He went through four and a string of whores
In his long, prolific life.

But wealth and fame and honored name
Have been enough for him.
The doctors' drugs will ease the pain
For one whose time is slim.

The second writer stayed in school
And dammit, he worked hard.
He studied novels, films and plays,
The poets and the Bard.

His studies drove his writing on,
To subtlety complex.
There is no abstract knot of meaning
A suffix can't correct.

And thus he wrote his thesis,
Unblemished and unflawed.
He plead his book, his written case,
Before the ivory god.

To class at University
He took his expertise.
The books of Homer, Shakespeare, Frost
It was his joy to preach.

This doctor was kept writing
So tenure he would gain.
In class or journal articles
Gilt texts he would make plain.

His pay's a modest sum at best
For house and kids and wife,
But somehow on those green-lined streets
He made himself a life.

He's with his family now, you see,
As he looks to the sky.
And in their warm embrace he'll be
As peacefully he dies.

The poet chose his honest art
Of no apparent use,
After a moment of raw experience
And years of drug abuse.

He cast his pure ambitions wide,
Like some poetic net,
Searching for some greater truth,
Or the closest he could get.

He wrote of friends and wild woods
And matters of the heart.
His ego and his motives pure
Were with him from the start.

He always kept his mind alert,
His notebook, just the same.
He felt that if he wrote enough
He could those wilds tame.

His writing, great in quantity,
Was read by very few.
Not many hear have heard of him.
I haven't.  Now, have you?

He should have seen that coming,
But was surprised instead.
His writing grew by length and breadth
As rarely it was read.

Into the metered rhymes he wrote
He poured his heart, his brain.
Until he felt his essence melt.
Onto his page he drained.

Now all that's left of our poet pure
Are notebooks on a shelf.
In pulling the mask off the mortal world,
It seems he removed himself.

A Moment

I didn't know you.
I still don't.
We could be different,
But we won't.

We were leaving
Before we even met.
Let's be alone
Together for a moment.

Of Libraries

Beloved by a suckling poet,
Here I find my mothers,
The generation before me
From whom I gain strength.
Then, on lined fields,
My strength is tested,
Before entering a keyed arena
Where I can display myself,
Compete on screen.

As a suckling poet
I live whole lives here.
I spend days only
Because I cannot spend the night.

Christmas Rush

The hunger, the Christmas rush to I-must-have-it
Is decried as America's fall to the hell of poor habits.
If you're awake, you pay attention, you know this isn't true.
The ads tell us that's just the thing that we're supposed to do.

Fight or Flight

I thrill to life as fight-or-flight
Speeds me up paths of little gain.
As all of life's great pleasures, it
Invests in future pain.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Sleeve

The twelve shots of rum,
The half-bottle of vodka,
The supernova relationships
(and others, dead in a slow, cold drift),
The acid-and-bile-flavor words,
Those two guys I pulled out of their car,
The knuckles with spiderweb scars:
They are the sleeve where
I wear
My hatred for myself
and Everyone else.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Hate

There's a reason I smile
When you get so intense.
Hate is the slant-rhyme
Of compliments.

Coming Back

It's the rage at what
You've done that thrills me.
In self-defense, you'll
Have to kiss or kill me.

We're so wrong already
That we'd never be right.
That friction keeps
Me warm at night.

We can't grow old together.
I'd have a heart attack.
You get me going so fast,
I can't help coming back.

What is Poetry?

What is a poem?
A mosaic in rhyme.
Prose outside the lines.
Music without the noise.
A prison of windows,
Where one is temptingly free
and Beautifully confined,
As long as (s)he's poetically inclined.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Timing

Should I move early or should I wait?
Good timing has never been my fate.
I choose between too soon and too late.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Idiot

If the idiot smile has you wondering, I'll explain it.
I'm an idiot.
The kind who will wait,
Then engage
In shall-I-compare-the-to-a-summer's-day
For four lines, then go away.

Breathe Again

It all started when discussing TV.
I confessed to a fantasy
Of a beautiful, literate blonde who watches Buffy
On DVD.
What could my friend do
But mention you?
"Yeah, but she's completely unattainable."
I will breathe again when I'm able.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Choosing

All the choosing we have done
You did not name as such.
Should we go out and have some fun,
Or stay, and have too much?

Why I Write, Part x+21: A Spark

This royal act called writing
Grants mundane moods or moments meaning.
The pen's power lends a spark
To dull pastels or ashes dark.

Why I Write, Part x+20: I Ride the Rollercoaster

Previously, I perceived my person to prefer life placid, peakless.
Writing requires that I ride the rickety roller-coaster.
Living light, leisurely limericks unerringly leads
To head-splitting hangovers of hatred for he who is human in me.

Clever character conducive to creative cares is a consequence
Of being a baby born a bit brain-brokent, and subsequently staying so.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Wild-Seeking

Contentment, love, perhaps lay down the road.
I guess no one can say.
Since being me is all I know,
I went the other way.

I went into the wild, seeking
Inspiration, affirmation, privacy.
I certainly found something.
What was it?  Can you tell me?

Flukeman

There once was a vicious Flukeman
Who disgusted some X-Files fans.
Mulder made an arrest
At old Skinner's behest,
And they foiled the smoking man's plans.

Skinner

There once was a vicious Flukeman
Who disgusted some X-Files fans.
Mulder made an arrest
At old Skinner's behest,
And they foiled the smoking man's plans.

Scully

Now I'll tell of an agent named Scully
Whose Explorer was left in a gully.
From a creepy-eyed man
With an awl in his hand
She was saved by good Mulder's gun-volley.

Mulder

Let me tell of an agent named Fox,
And his friends, who like deadbolts and locks.
They chased alien life,
Caused the government strife,
Sleuthing chemtrails and digital clocks.

Ted

There once was a killer named Ted.
I hear he was lousy in bed.
In a van full of toys,
He'd stalk little boys.
Now he waits in a coffin instead.

Paul

I once worked with a pervert named Paul.
Of morals, he had none at all.
He hid naked in bushes
To grab eight-year-old tushes,
But now he stalks state prison's halls.

Ben

A famous footballer named Ben
Got in trouble, then did it again.
His quarterback skills
Give some Pittsburghers thrills,
But his conduct I cannot defend.

Jailhouse Lawyers

I once knew a man who paid bills
By the selling of counterfeit pills.
Ever since that drug bust
His headstone gathers dust.
Too bad no jailhouse lawyers do wills.

Burns

There once was a rich man named Burns
Whose partners are ashes in urns.
To buy them all out
They were killed sans a shout.
Now, it isn't for money Burns yearns.

Lawyer For Rent

There once was a lawyer for rent
Who claimed he could disprove intent,
But he lost his first case
On some evidence trace
After that, clients told him "get bent."

Rover

Let me tell of my uncle's girlfriend
and my uncle's uncle's unfortunate end.
She ran his ass over
With a red truck named "Rover."
There are some wounds that time will not mend.

Baby Named Bob

I hear tell of a young man named Bob.
That guy's a notorious slob.
He plays with his food,
Though he's told that it's rude.
No wonder he can't get a job!

Old Man From the Sticks

I know an old man from the sticks.
There isn't a thing he can't fix.
When I had him fix games
He said "that's pretty lame,"
But he calls every week with his picks.

Dirty Limericks

I know a man who gets kicks
Out of salty rhymes and limericks.
Is he strung out on dope?
Is he just out of hope?
Well get that man help, 'cause he's sick.

Jersey Shore

There once was a man from the Shore,
Who loved to carouse with tan whores.
He had some kind of show.
I guess everyone knows,
But myself, I think that stuff's a bore.

Man From New York

There once was a man from New York.
I guess he was sort of a dork.
He built motherboards
Wearing dirty old shorts.
His parents still curse that old stork.

Benny

There once was a man named Benny
Who never spent more than a penny.
He spent those lone cents
On sweets for his pets;
On himself, he never spent any.

Old Man From the Bronx

The was once an old man from the Bronx
Who would drive an old taxi and honk.
As he swerved through the night,
People dove out of sight.
Those pedestrians cowered in fright!

Why I Write, Part x+19: Calliope's Dart

I turn my eyes inward and gaze
At ideas as they crawl on my brain.

Then one's eyes sparkle, catching my heart.
Oh, the sting of Calliope's dart!

To wrap my arms 'round that fair little wight,
I must pick up my pen and write!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Pea

Don't seek, shun knowing, and never try to find
The wildfires seething in the rent, unsleeping mind
Of a pea who might wish to fit back in its pod
But instead dies a zealot in his lone war with God,

And at war with those who'd drive our culture to the shop,
Give a wrench a few half-turns, rotate tires, tune it up.
This other wants the culture on blocks, never to come down.
Keep it out back and watch grass grow up around!

Consider countless people this crusading might offend,
And know why it's the pea who must come to its end.