I Intended

I intended to be a fullback when I grew up,

But by that time, it wasn't a real job anymore.

I intended to make this a perfect birthday,

But it turns out that I'm a middling present person,

and as much of a card person as I am a thin person.

I intended to get a drink of water,

But my dumb ass got lured into conversation,

Which is what generally happens,

Just not for three and a half hours.

If I did everything I intended to do,

That would be an interesting day.