How To Lose Friends and Alienate People–For Your Health

There is no meaning of life.

There is sometimes meaning in life.

Nobody has meaning in life.

Nobody finds meaning in life.

The lucky make meaning in life–

Perhaps they're less lucky than good,

But if you're not so good or so lucky,

Decide what you want to be

Or what you think you really are

and just be that.

If no one will pay you, do it for free.

Don't ever say you don't have time for it.

Nobody has time in their lives.

Nobody finds time in their lives.

The lucky make time in their lives–

Perhaps they're less lucky than good.

Some of them save time with TiVo.

Some of them don't watch television.

Some of them haven't even seen a movie

Since the freaking nineteen-eighties.

Some of them don't sleep so much.

Some of them are very out of touch

With gossipy, unnecessary trivia.

Sure, everyone talks about those things.

Sure, those conversations take time,

But by far the best way to save time

Is to spend less money.

If you don't need it to live or be you,

Don't buy it.

If you don't need it to live or be you,

Don't do it.

If you don't spend it to live or be you,

Don't make it,

and the candle burns slower at both ends.