The Storyteller

I am the world's foremost expert on Sherlock Holmes,

As well as half a dozen more obscure and ancient tomes.

I am not a secret agent with a thrilling double life,

But I'm not free to discuss consulting

That I do from time to time.

I write a book a month when I get going.

Thanks to a wonderful invention

Known as Orexin-A, I do not sleep.

Thanks to a wonderful invention

Known as testicles, I do not weep.

My name is not my name.

I am Ezekiel Ali Smith.

My action figure's accessory

Is a past he's trying to get away with.

My name is not my name,

Because I am five different famous authors.

I exist at the pleasure of the Universe,

So it's fortunate, for me,

That the Universe finds me so pleasing.

I am the greatest storyteller of all time,

and you are the audience who kept listening.