I Never Tried Lightning

I tried kindness,

Which got some people some nice things,

Which got me nothing at all.

I tried cruelty,

Which got me as far as getting interesting.

Turns out I left my soft spot on interesting.

I tried persistence,

and got a whole lot of duplicates

Of the same answers, over and over.

I tried not caring.

The heart may be rather pliable,

But the loins want what the loins want.

I tried nothing and got nowhere.

I tried something, and got nowhere.

I never tried lightening,

But I'd already tried giving up my bottle collection.