I Will Never

I will never have what they have --
The relaxed impulsiveness, the escapades,
The easy smile, the history,
and they will never have what I have,
But if you don't know you're looking for it...

I will never hate being beaten
As much as I hate the mercy rule.

I will never be satisfied with myself,
Just as you will never be satisfied with myself.
You will never be the reason for my improvement,
Just the alarm clock that woke it up.

I will never purposely write of you,
But I always have a pen at hand,
and I do not always have purpose.

I will never be there for you.
It would only make you uncomfortable.