A way to accept or put out of my mind
Mistakes I made half of a lifetime ago
With those whom—if they'd lived—I
would no longer know,
For I know that stood long between my
fate and theirs
Was a wall made of down half the width
of a hair.
I'm only alive because plans go awry,
Because Dave had the same sense of
humor as I,
While they're not, because friends
believed when they said “I'm okay,”
'Cause I knew I should call, but went
on with my day,
Because they helped others instead of
themselves,
Because years of professional help
didn't help.
The only excuse that I can provide
To be damaged, distracted, and
preoccupied
Is I've looked for so long and I've
still yet to spy
The tiniest wisp of a good reason why.
Half a lifetime of searching, and still
I don't see
Why it had to be them and had not to be
me.
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