I introduce you to the teacher you've known for half a year,
A replacement of convenience for experience and fear.
I introduce you to the teacher who should know you by now,
A translucent presence who dreams he can wow.
I introduce you to your teacher, who's a snowball in hell
Writing poorly, he would teach you and then hope you write well.
I would like to introduce you to your British Lit teacher,
Who is just about as British as a three-eagle t-shirt.
Now I'll introduce your teacher as a paperweight,
Keeping collected miscellanea safe in the same place,
In charge of intake and allocation,
In hopes the students will learn more from their creations.
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