The First Two Rules

The first two rules of chess:
1.  The board is 64 squares.
2. White moves first.

The first two rules of football:
1.  The field is three-hundred sixty by one-hundred sixty feet.
2.  The field will be marked with white lines every five yards.

The first two rules of Fight Club:
1.  Do not talk about fight club.
2.  Do not talk about fight club.

The first two rules of dating:
1.  You do not want to date a poet.
2.  You do not want a poet's dating advice.

The first two rules of life:
1.  Secretaries and janitors run the world.
2.  If you only know the first two rules, you know nothing.